


and i won't say that i'm feeling fine, after what i've been through, i can't lie

by endofdaysforme



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, bi archie rises, this is basically just a fic about my boy andrews exploring his bisexuality, this is the cutest idea ever, this one's for you avery!, yes hi someone asked me to do this and i did it because i wanted to, yes it's different sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 19:42:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17793554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endofdaysforme/pseuds/endofdaysforme
Summary: if archie andrews had to place the time and day where he really began to question who he was, it would probably be somewhere between the tender age of fourteen and fifteen.when his father first approached him about the idea of football, archie hadn’t really given it much of a thought. his secret passion for music remained heavy in his heart, and although he knew that fred andrews was more than supportive of anything and everything that archie wanted to do with his life, the idea of telling his father that music was something he was passionate about was…scary.music wasn’t seen as something manly, as something that men did or took part in, it was left for the girls of the world with soft voices and more talent in their pinky finger than archie could ever dream of possessing.so he brushed it aside, smiled and agreed, said he’d try out for the team, and when he’d made it in, he relished in the hard thumps against his back, the way reggie mantle ruffled his hair and chuck clayton bumped chests with him. he was proud, he was happy. it was good.--aka, someone asked me to write a fic of archie coming to terms with being bisexual, and i love archie andrews, so, voila!





	and i won't say that i'm feeling fine, after what i've been through, i can't lie

**Author's Note:**

> just a fic about a bisexual archie, because he's a king and doesn't deserve the hate he gets. let me know what you think in the comments or you can yell at me at @endofdaysforme on twitter!
> 
> also tw: for some internalized homophobia as well as homophobic slurs i'm sorry :(
> 
> fic title from “Fake Smile” by Ariana Grande

if archie andrews had to place the time and day where he really began to question who he was, it would probably be somewhere between the tender age of fourteen and fifteen. 

 

when his father first approached him about the idea of football, archie hadn’t really given it much of a thought. his secret passion for music remained heavy in his heart, and although he knew that fred andrews was more than supportive of anything and everything that archie wanted to do with his life, the idea of telling his father that music was something he was passionate about was…scary.

 

music wasn’t seen as something manly, as something that men did or took part in, it was left for the girls of the world with soft voices and more talent in their pinky finger than archie could ever dream of possessing. 

 

so he brushed it aside, smiled and agreed, said he’d try out for the team, and when he’d made it in, he relished in the hard thumps against his back, the way reggie mantle ruffled his hair and chuck clayton bumped chests with him. he was proud, he was happy. it was good.

 

he started working out more, started watching his weight and bulking, started boxing in order to keep himself physically fit and ready so that on the days where he played, his father could watch him from the bleachers with tears of pride in his eyes. that was what archie looked forward to more than anything.

 

but what really made him begin to question things…was when he’d changed in the locker rooms after his first practice, and his eyes had strayed just a little too much towards the way sweat dripped down reggie mantle’s abs, or the way chuck clayton’s back muscles rippled as he pulled his uniform up off his body, the material clinging to his skin with sweat in a way that had archie blushing, in a way that had chuck looking at him with a raised eyebrow before-

 

“what are you looking at, andrews? don’t tell me we’ve got a faggot on the team?” 

 

and of course, archie, the ever spluttering mess he was when someone caught him off guard, laughed it off and shook his head, telling chuck that he would never, that the idea of it was ludicrous, that he was simply seeing things.

 

it’d take a few more years for archie to realize that he was dead wrong.

 

he repressed, and repressed and repressed to the point where now, he keeps his head down during the afternoons spent in the locker room, averts his gaze and laughs when he needs to or tells a joke when its quiet, and no one is none the wiser.

 

when he’s sixteen, with over two years of hidden feelings resting inside him, kevin keller makes a comment about archie possibly swinging both ways, and archie simply raises an eyebrow at him and shakes his head with a mumbled ‘never tried it, never will’. 

 

if kevin thinks it’s weird, he doesn’t say anything, but archie finds himself staring at kevin during that lunch break, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him or touch him, and the very thought sends him into a spiral that has him running towards the men’s bathroom for just a second to _breathe._

 

and then, ironically enough, geraldine grundy comes barreling into his life, all seduction and lust, all promises of a music career that could shoot him into the stars, and archie finds himself falling head first into it, picks up a guitar and learns how to play it within weeks, spends his days in the backseat of her car with her body pressed against his, and somewhere in the back of his mind, archie acknowledges that this is wrong, that miss grundy is his teacher and he shouldn’t be doing this, but with his mind spiraling with thoughts about boys that he shouldn’t be thinking about _in that way_ , he clings to the first thing he can find for some form of stability.

 

instead, jason blossom is killed, archie is forced to keep the fact that he heard a gunshot the day he was killed a secret to protect her, something that ends up being for nothing anyway when alice cooper finds out, and everything falls apart again. archie would be lying if he said he was sad to see miss grundy fired, would be lying if he said he wasn’t aware that she was using him and his body this entire time, would be lying if he said he was ever in love with her, but if it helped people think he was a little more manly than they thought, than he doesn’t mind.

 

especially when reggie slaps him on the back with a goofy grin and tells him ‘good job, bro’ for bagging a woman much older than him. it makes him feel accomplished. It makes him feel good. it makes him feel a little less repulsive and a little more complete.

 

he also finds himself staring at kevin keller just a little bit more than he used to before, unbeknownst to the boy that archie might just be falling once more. 

 

he doesn’t tell his father. he doesn’t tell reggie or chuck or any of his best friends. he doesn’t tell betty, or jughead…

 

and then veronica lodge comes along.

 

she’s all raven hair and dark lipstick and archie isn’t ashamed to say he’s in love the second his eyes land on her. 

 

they play seven seconds in heaven at cheryl blossom’s party, they kiss, and archie thinks that maybe all this questioning was just something all boys go through, that maybe he isn’t gay, that maybe, by some miracle, it was all a lie and truthfully, he’s into girls and only girls. that his thoughts about kevin were just that…thoughts and wonder about what it would be like, just to be with another guy…

 

then veronica brings up something that changes his entire world.

 

nick st. clair comes into town, a past flame of veronica’s that leaves archie feeling more than threatened, but veronica reassures him that nick was nothing more than a phase, a fling that burned out with a whimper instead of a bang, like a match stick instead of a firework.

 

and as he sits with her in the student lounge, with her planted firmly on his lap and her arms wrapped around his neck as she tells him this, she smiles, chuckles to herself and says:

 

“if there’s anyone you should be worried about from new york, it’s grace. she was one hell of a girl…one hell of a kisser, too.” veronica says with this mournful sigh, and archie feels like he should say something to defend himself, should say something to make sure veronica knows she’s his and that he loves her, but the name ‘grace’ keeps ringing in his mind, because that’s definitely a girl’s name-

 

“who’s grace?” betty asks for him, archie holding back a thankful groan at his best friend as she stares at veronica with confusion, and veronica simply chuckles and waves her hand nonchalantly, as if it’s not a big deal, like she hasn’t just completely turned archie’s entire life upside down.

 

“a girl i dated back home. we were only together for a few months, but she was amazing. she left for washington, and we decided long distance wasn’t our thing…” 

 

“i didn’t know you were bisexual, veronica.” jughead says simply with a smile, and when veronica returns it with another shrug, archie finds himself completely and utterly numb to everything around him.

 

he’s never delved into sexuality, he’s never even thought about it, had pushed down the days where he’d stare at the other guys on the football team so far into the recesses of his brain, it was like it never existed, but now…

 

_bisexual. is that what i am?_

 

he finds himself at the pembrooke with veronica still gasping for air, curled up against his chest with the body of them covered in sweat as she giggles and leans up to press a kiss to his jaw, the both of them blissed out into this state of euphoria and equal tiredness as he wraps his arms around her and holds her close.

 

“that…was amazing…as always, archiekins.” she says lightly, leaning up to kiss his lips, a kiss that archie happily returns before the thoughts of that afternoon conversation enter his mind once again.

 

they’re silent for a few moments, the both of them basking in the presence of each other, and archie finds himself asking it before he can stop himself.

 

“ronnie…what does it mean? being bisexual?” he croaks out, a shiver running up his spine as veronica’s fingers dance over his abs slowly, this soft hum escaping her before she chuckles and looks up at him with one perfectly arched eyebrow.

 

“you’ve never heard of bisexuality, arch?” she asks in surprise. he simply purses his lips and shakes his head, and she hums once again before she trails a finger down his nose affectionately, causing archie to smile despite himself at how tender their relationship really is. 

 

he never thought he’d find something quite like this…quite like _her._

 

“it’s when you’re attracted to both girls and boys. which i do…i’ve dated a handful of boys, but grace was the only girlfriend i ever had. but i think i loved her…not as much as i love you, but it was still love, i think. i didn’t even know i was bisexual until she came along…but once she left, i found myself appreciating the female body a lot more.” she says simply, like it’s a math problem, a simple two plus two equals four instead of some mind boggling equation about velocity and the speed of sound and other things archie can’t really wrap his mind around.

 

when he’s quiet, veronica begins to stir uncomfortably against him, and she looks up at him with this look of worry and concern that has his heart clenching, her bottom lip caught between her teeth anxiously.

 

“i…is there a problem with me being bisexual, archie?” she asks in a low voice. 

 

archie’s quite sure that the response veronica gets is the last response she’s even expecting, but once again, like verbal vomit, like every other time archie’s just let his words go around veronica, because she’s someone he loves and someone he knows he can trust, he just…says it.

 

“no, i…i just think that i might be bisexual too, ronnie…” 

 

if veronica’s surprised, she doesn’t show it, and god, is archie forever thankful to her for it. she doesn’t gasp, doesn’t stare at him in disgust, doesn’t look at him as if he’s grown a second head…

 

she just smiles softly, leans in to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth and asks him to tell her when he first started questioning it.

 

and archie tells her _everything._ about the afternoons in the boys locker room, about that day at lunch when he thought about kissing kevin, about the countless other times he’s found himself staring some guy on tv with ripped muscles and bulking biceps just a little _too much_ to be a simple act of appreciation. 

 

the next night, archie meets nick, thinks he’s handsome, and finds himself repulsed by the very idea of that fucking dickbag the second he walks into veronica’s room to find cheryl blossom crying and trembling with fear, still slightly dizzy from the effects of the date rape drug nick used on her.

 

it sparks a fury inside him, seeing this girl who has had nothing but horrible thing after horrible thing happen to her crying on top of his girlfriend’s bed with despair, but veronica is there, all calm and collected and ready to unleash a different brand of hell on the boy, and archie finds himself clinging to her more and more. 

 

veronica doesn’t say a word to anyone, keeps archie’s secret close to her chest, a memory locked away, a night spent in the pembrooke telling each other stories, and months later, when the chaos of things with hiram explodes, veronica remains loyal by his side.

 

archie watches cheryl blossom begin a relationship with toni topaz, watches her slowly creep her way out of the closet until she’s all but shouting through the hallways of riverdale high that she’s a lesbian, and he smiles and wishes he had the strength to do the same. 

 

but his sexuality is pushed into the back of his mind when he’s accused of murder, when he’s put on trial and forced to go to juvie, guilty of a crime he didn’t commit.

 

he hears veronica scream as he’s lead out of the courtroom, blinks back his own tears of fear and anguish and tries to block out the sound of betty and veronica crying, of cheryl and toni arguing with the judge, of jughead yelling that he’ll find a way to get him out of this…

 

juvie is hell.

 

archie’s positive that it’s at least the fifth circle of purgatory, as he wipes the blood from his nose and stares up at the ceiling in anger, his broken and bruised body throbbing with pain, and when he looks to his left, his father is staring at him with a smile, but it’s not filled with pride, not filled with anything other than sadness.

 

and archie knows he’s hallucinating, but for some reason, it gives him comfort that the delusion of his father his here. 

 

the words escape him, and even if he’s not really here, it still makes him nervous to say it.

 

“dad…i think i’m bisexual.” he whispers.

 

when the illusion of fred andrews doesn’t respond, archie curls up under the covers of his bed and cries for the loss of innocence he’s suffering through right now.

 

because what quickly turns into simple thoughts that maybe…just _maybe_ he likes boys? well, that maybe is blown out of the water when joaquin de santos kisses him in the bathroom of the empty swimming pool he’s about to fight in.

 

archie doesn’t see it coming, not by a long shot, and joaquin had quickly become someone he was close with, his only friend from the outside that was in here that he could rely on and talk to, after ghoulies had beaten him, after being thrown into this fight club with no way out…archie hadn’t even hesitated in taking joaquin’s place, watching this poor guy get battered to a pulp, it hurt archie to watch.

 

and god, those baby blue eyes…

 

joaquin’s betrayal is something else archie doesn’t see coming, but for those brief five seconds where joaquin’s lips crash against his, where archie blinks in surprise before he responds with enthusiasm and reaches out to grip joaquin’s shirt to pull him closer, archie finds any doubts about his bisexuality quickly erased and forgotten about.

 

because yes, the feeling of veronica lodge’s body against his own is something he’s daydreamed about from the very second he got here, and yes, he misses her so much, his heart feels like it’s breaking every second that he spends without her, but if the feeling of joaquin’s lips against his own doesn’t send him into a spiral of complete and utter lust and affection-

 

he doesn’t even feel the knife slice through him at first.

 

joaquin pulls back with wide eyes, tears in them that fall down his cheeks as archie looks down at the knife sticking out of his abdomen, and joaquin is all apologies and choked out sobs, but archie can barely see through the haze of confusion at why joaquin would kiss him, would give him this moment of paradise, of completion at the idea that his sexuality isn’t something invalid, isn’t just misperception, that he really _does_ like boys, and turn it into a nightmare.

 

somehow, it works out. because betty, jughead, veronica, reggie and kevin hatch a master plan to break him out, and somehow it works.

 

and archie doesn’t know how he ends up in a bunker with toni topaz bandaging his wounds, all of his friends surrounding him with worry and panic, but he does. 

 

cheryl and toni volunteer to take the first watch after veronica declares that someone should stay with archie at all times, and archie tries to tell her it’s unnecessary, but she won’t hear a word of it. 

 

it’s a few hours later, and archie watches them sit at the table with that strange game out on the top of it, watches cheryl and toni read papers from it with frowns on their faces, and when he adjusts himself and lets out a gasp of pain, toni’s head snaps up to look at him in surprise, and then she’s standing up and pressing a kiss to cheryl’s temple before she’s making her way over to him, cheryl’s eyes still focused on the papers in front of her.

 

“you okay, andrews?” toni asks softly, sitting down by his side and reaching out to lift his shirt, her eyebrow cocking with a smirk before she asks permission to touch him. archie simply rolls his eyes and nods, and toni chuckles before she grips the hem of his shirt and lifts it slowly, checking over the bandages with a frown.

 

“yeah, we’re gonna need to change these…we can’t risk you getting infected.” toni says with a simple sigh, reaching for a pack as cheryl stands up from the table and makes her way over to them with a frown.

 

“is it still bleeding, t.t.?” she asks. toni peels back the bandage with a whistle, and archie doesn’t look down, can’t think about joaquin’s betrayal without tears springing to his eyes as he keeps them firmly planted on the ceiling above him.

 

“it’s not bleeding, but it doesn’t look good. we’ll keep an eye on it, babe.” toni murmurs, reaching out and gripping cheryl’s hand in her own, giving it this reassuring squeeze that has cheryl smiling before she leans down to kiss the back of toni’s head and makes her way towards the entrance of the bunker, sitting down in the tunnel before the ladder to keep an eye out for any intruders. 

 

“you two seem happy.” archie croaks out, trying his best to ignore the pain as toni fumbles with a rag and some cold water to clean his wound. toni’s smile is _life changing_ , this look in her eyes that archie can’t explain as she turns back to look at cheryl with a simple shrug.

 

“she’s my soulmate. of that, i’m sure. she can be a little crazy, and fuck, is she a handful, but she’s _my_ handful. i didn’t think it was possible to fall in love with someone as much as i’ve fallen in love with her.” toni says in this voice that has archie’s own heart clenching. 

 

“i didn’t think it was that serious…” archie mumbles, watching with a smile as toni chuckles and looks to him with a raised eyebrow.

 

“i haven’t actually said it yet to her. those three words…i’m waiting for the right time.” she says simply, nodding to herself as she finishes cleaning up his wound and reaches for another bandage.

 

“jughead told me…told me you two had a brief thing…” archie says, looking at toni with hopeful eyes, and toni rolls her own and lets out a deep sigh.

 

“we made out and he grabbed my boobs a few times, but that was about it. he was lonely, i was lonely…it was a moment of weakness. i’ve always considered myself bisexual, but i have a strong preference for girls. i told him that after our pg-thirteen night together.” toni says with a chuckle, looking at archie in amusement as he purses his lips and nods once, looking past toni at cheryl, who is scrolling through something on her phone absentmindedly.

 

he’s never considered himself close with cheryl, but after saving her life last winter at sweet water river, he’s found himself extra protective of her lately-

 

“what about you, andrews?” toni asks suddenly, causing archie to look at her in surprise with wide eyes as his heart begins thundering in his ears loudly.

 

“wh-what do you mean?” he splutters out, and toni rolls her eyes again with a chuckle and a shrug.

 

“do you have more of a preference for girls or boys?” she asks simply, once again, like veronica did, as if it’s a simple math equation and not something that has archie’s entire body freezing up beneath toni’s hands as they press against his wound and smooth over the bandage she’s applying on top of it. 

 

“i…we-i don’t-.”

 

“i know you’re bi, archie. and no, veronica didn’t tell me…just intuition. and now, i guess i was right. you’re redder than the hair on top of my girlfriend’s head.” toni says with a soft laugh, trying not to bring cheryl’s attention to them, to keep this conversation between them private as archie swallows thickly, and when toni notices his wide eyes filled with panic, she grips his hand in her own tightly, squeezing it gently and reassuringly.

 

“hey, don’t worry. i won’t say anything to anyone. your sexuality is yours to tell people, arch. i know what it’s like to be ashamed of it…” toni says, this look in her eyes that has archie wondering his what the backstory of this pink haired southside serpent is as she averts her gaze and looks back at cheryl with a shaky sigh to make sure once again that she’s not eavesdropping.

 

cheryl lets out a sigh of frustration as some strange noise comes out of her phone, and toni laughs a little more loudly, causing cheryl to look up at her in surprise before she’s glaring at her girlfriend.

 

“why can’t i beat this stupid level?!” she growls.

 

“because you don’t have my skills, babe. but you’ll get there, i believe in you!” toni calls out, laughing even more when cheryl turns back to whatever game she’s playing on her phone with her brows furrowed in concentration.

 

“cheryl doesn’t know this, but…my uncle used to kick me out a lot when we were at sunnyside. he caught me kissing a girl in my room when i was fourteen and ever since then, he’d just get angry about it and lock me out of my trailer. it used to make me feel like shit, but i tried my best to just keep thinking about how damaging it was to myself…to hate myself for something i can’t control. i like girls, and you, archie andrews, like boys. and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” toni says softly, squeezing his hand and smiling sadly when archie blinks back tears unsuccessfully, a few of them falling down the sides of his face into his red hair.

 

“i…joaquin kissed me before he stabbed me and i felt like…i felt like this part of myself was waking up, as fucked up as it is. he hurt me, and all i’ve been able to think about is how good it felt kissing him, toni. i feel like i’ve been pushing down this part of me for so long, and then joaquin kissed me and it’s like…it’s like _everything_ shifted into focus.” archie croaks out. toni gives him this look, this look that archie immediately interprets as understanding, and when she suddenly stands up and leans down to press a kiss to his brow, archie finds himself closing his eyes and relaxing under her touch.

 

“welcome to embracing your sexuality, red. don’t ever let it get you down…being bisexual isn’t a bad thing, please don’t ever think it is. you’re beautiful the way you are, archie andrews…never forget that.” 

 

and he doesn’t.

 

even when he finds himself choking back tears as he listens to veronica lodge cry hysterically on the other end of the phone while he breaks up with her, unwillingly to drag her into this mess as he goes on the run, unwilling to keep her waiting for him selflessly as he leaves town with jughead in an effort to escape her father’s wrath…archie doesn’t forget.

 

and when he finds himself in canada, his hair now dark and his only companion his dog, vegas…archie still doesn’t forget toni’s words.

 

and her words only seem to ring louder when he makes his way to the park ranger post in the middle of canada, of all goddamn places, and comes face to face with the demons he’s held back for so long.

 

“hey, i’m eric…you’re that new kid santana was talking about, right? archie, or something like that?” 

 

hazel eyes stare deeply into his own, a smile to die for lighting up this young man’s face as archie finds himself extending his hand to close it over eric’s with a smile of his own.

 

“yeah…yeah, that’s me, i’m archie. nice to meet you.” archie can’t deny the warmth that floods him at the touch of eric’s hand, and eric chuckles, the sound sending a shiver up archie’s spine that he can’t explain for the life of him.

 

“i’ve never really had a guy my age around here, it’s gonna be great to get to know you, archie!” he says enthusiastically, and somehow, toni’s words seem to echo out in archie’s mind once more.

 

_“you’re beautiful the way you are, archie andrews…never forget that.”_

 

and when eric smiles at him with this certain twinkle in his eyes, archie finds himself, for the first time, truly believing in those words.

 

eric is nice, is soft and gentle, is probably the only guy archie’s ever really had such strong feelings for, and the five weeks that archie spends with him are a mixture of heaven and hell.

 

because part of him wants to stay here in this cabin forever with eric by his side, and another part of him wants to go back home to riverdale, to his family…to his father and his friends. eric feels safe, eric feels like something he wishes he could hold on to forever and not let go off.

 

eric runs his fingers through archie’s hair, and archie feels like maybe this is something he could get used to. eric gives him a quick kiss to his temple or his neck, and archie feels like this is different from what he had with veronica, but somehow the same. because the feelings that rise up so quickly in him are something he can’t deny.

 

and it’s all taken away.

 

eric gives him a quick kiss to the lips before he departs for the day, and archie does his rounds, and he gets attacked by a bear.

 

a fucking bear.

 

a goddamn, motherfucking bear.

 

archie couldn’t even make this shit up if he tried. why his life is a complete and utter mess, he can never understand, but when his cards are drawn and he’s pronounced dead for about five minutes before he’s brought back to life, archie comes to a heartbreaking conclusion.

 

that running from his problems won’t solve anything.

 

he doesn’t even say goodbye to eric, thinks it’ll hurt too much for the both of them, but eric seems to know it’s coming, because the last time he visits archie in the hospital, he presses a long and deep kiss to his lips before he pulls away with a soft ‘goodbye, archie’ and makes his way to the door. archie watches him leave with despair, cries for a good three hours before he’s eventually discharged and sent on his way. 

 

and archie finds himself back home. in riverdale. where all his demons lie.

 

and oh, how he wishes he could just be back at that cabin with eric, how he wishes he could forget about this town and everyone in it, especially when he finds out veronica and reggie are now dating and that he’s going to have to repeat his junior year because he walked out of the goddamn sat’s in the middle of a fucking panic attack-

 

it’s too much. it’s too much and it’s not enough all at once. and archie finds himself going to thistlehouse of all goddamn places, where he spends an hour curled up in toni’s lap as he cries and cries and tells her everything about eric, about how much he misses him, and toni listens, and toni weeps, runs her fingers through his hair and assures him that everything will be okay…

 

even when cheryl arrives home with a bag full of pop’s, she doesn’t question the sight of archie andrews laying on her couch with his head in her girlfriend’s lap, sobbing his heart out. she just walks over and sits down on the floor by his side, grips his hand and presses a kiss to the back of his it before she reaches for a burger in the bag and hands it toni without a word. 

 

archie moves on as best as he can, confides in toni because he can longer confide in veronica, the pain of seeing her with reggie too much for him to really handle right now amongst everything else.

 

toni tells him to come out to his father, that maybe it will help him in the long run, and archie decides then and there that he’s ready. 

 

when archie sits his father down at the dinner table and tells him, he feels like his heart is about to collapse down through his body to the ground, and the words escape him in this shaky exhale that he completely and utterly _hates_ , the words jumbled and a mess that he’s surprised his father is even able to interpret them.

 

“dad, i’m bisexual.” 

 

and fred andrews, bless his heart, blinks in surprise for just a few moments before he smiles widely and simply stands up to pull his son into a hug, a press kiss to his hair before-

 

“i’m proud of you for telling me that, son. it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” 

 

archie cries against his father’s shoulder for a long time while his father continues to tell him that he’s okay with it, that there’s nothing wrong with it, that he just wants archie to be _happy_ , and eventually, archie opens up to him about eric, about what he did in canada, about how he might’ve just loved that boy with the hazel eyes and the brown hair, and fred holds him close and tells him he’s sorry for everything archie’s been forced to go through.

 

when archie tells toni how it went, she claps her hands and pulls him into a hug that cheryl eventually joins, the three of them holding each other close. archie begins to grow a bit more bold about it, even shrugs with a grin when kevin asks him how canada was before he grabs kevin’s hand and pulls him into the student lounge to tell him everything, too. 

 

it’s like a bug, like a virus. now that he’s confident in who he is, he can’t _shut up about it._ but no one complains. kevin simply stares at him with wide eyes before he punches archie’s arm and declares ‘i knew it!’ loudly, causing archie to laugh and causing kevin to grin before he pulls archie into a tight hug and tells him he’s happy for him.

 

archie thinks about the times he thought about kevin, and decides that maybe that was just a simple crush, because kevin is like a brother to him, and kevin is his friend more than anything else.

 

and when archie finds himself at pop’s diner, his eyes on the one and only josie mccoy as she cries and looks down at her coffee cup in despair, archie can’t help but pull himself out of his own booth and make his way over to her, listen to her woes and the way she cries about not having anyone…about feeling alone.

 

“hey…you’re not alone, okay?” archie says, reaching out to grab her hand, this smile he can’t explain taking him over as josie looks up at him with a smile of her own, her hand squeezing his tightly and refusing to let go.

 

and archie thinks to himself that maybe all this struggling…maybe everything he’s gone through has been for this moment.

 

for him to grab josie mccoy’s hand and promise her that want he went through is something he’ll never let her go through. that maybe all of this was so that he could be here for josie now, to tell her that she’s not alone, and that he’ll be there for her.

 

that maybe all his struggles have a purpose.

 

_“you’re beautiful the way you are, archie andrews…never forget that.”_

 

and oh, how in this moment, with the way josie mccoy stares at him…archie’s never believed those words more.


End file.
